No one wants to hear the dreaded words: “You have Cancer.” Unfortunately, you’ll likely you’ll meet or hear of a cancer patient in your lifetime. There are things you should never say, do or send to Cancer patients. From my experience, I heard, saw, and read well-intentioned comments and gestures that did more harm than good. So, I’ve compiled some of these DON’Ts to help you be aware when dealing with Cancer patients.

 1.       “You do not look like a cancer patient at all”.

Um, what is a cancer patient supposed to look like? 30 years ago, the standard cancer treatment regimen took a toll on the body, but it is not so today.  With advancements in medical care, proper diet, and rest, many cancer patients live like nothing is happening. The last thing a cancer patient wants to be stressed about is their body image or look. Please refrain from making such comments. 

 2.       “Let me know what you need/Let me know how I can help”.

Although this statement comes from a place of kindness, it can be too vague for someone dealing with cancer. It is a convoluted maze if you could travel into the mind of anyone dealing with cancer. The journey is filled with high and low days, and the fear and anxiety can be overwhelming. Your job as a caring individual is to take the initiative to help in specific ways. Help with grocery shopping, house cleaning, childcare, and transportation to treatments. They also need moments of laughter. If you have comedy videos, a movie evening with ice cream will go a long way! (Yes, ice cream!)

 3.       “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine/It is well”.

What is well about cancer? Saying this is something serious that has the potential to be terminal. It is important to respect the patient’s fear while also nurturing faith and hope in the process. Instead of dismissing their concerns, assure them that you’ll be there for them, praying or sending good thoughts.

 4.       “I know/heard of a pastor/specialist that can cure cancer”.

Cancer patients are in a race for time. Don’t make it worse by setting false expectations. I remember a quote when I was hospitalized as a 10-year-old in my pediatrician’s office: “We care, God heals”. Medical practitioners recognize that they don’t have all the answers. so tread carefully when presenting solutions and suggestions. Someone had the ‘graciousness’ to refer me to T.B Joshua (I chuckle)This brings me to number 5.

 5.       Sending cancer patient posts/social media messages/Whatsapp texts about cancer cure hoaxes.

I cannot count the number of times I got a text about how lemon rinds cure cancer. Seriously?!! Even if I wanted to grate the rind and drink, how would I eliminate the pesticides and coloring used in food preservation? Some of these organic labels are also suspect too. The one that infuriated me was one about Vitamin K. The meanie who created the presentation had the nerve to reference a book about cancer that I had read (hard and audio copy), stating that the author was involved in a study about the efficacy of Vitamin K. Lies, lies, more lies!

These false claims can be frustrating and even dangerous for cancer patients who are already going through a challenging time. Always verify the authenticity of such claims before sharing. 

These are my top 5 things you should never say, do or send to cancer patients. Let’s show compassion and understanding to those facing the challenging Cancer battle. There you have it loved ones. Watch this space for the next 5.

xoxo

OEMA